Thank you for the present

I attended the pre-school graduation of a friend’s niece this morning. The surrounding was very nostalgic. The small chairs, nursery rhymes, swings, monkey bars and teachers dancing around reminded me of the good old days when there was truly nothing for me to worry about—all I had to do was go to school to play, read, play, play and play because I know my parents are in-charge of all the other things I wasn’t even aware of then. I had no care of any other thing aside from just living in the moment. All I knew then was that my playmates were beside me, my mommy was just outside watching me, all of us kids have merienda ready and toys are overflowing—such blissful moment is all that we had. There was no future that I had to carefully and rigorously plan ahead of me and there was no such thing as wasting my time brooding over things that happened in the past. I was just busy living in the present moment and had no care about how I was being perceived by others.

It’s funny how when we started to become more mature and as we age, we tend to forget about all those beautiful things our childhood made us feel. As I went to elementary school, I started to get conscious about acne and all those classmates teasing me about how oily my skin was. I knew that there must be something I must do to get rid of my pimples. I started to get really conscious and worried about what other people think of me. Instead of just focusing on my current assignments or projects, I somehow wasted my time thinking of what I can do to get rid of my acne.  

Then, as I entered into high school, I told myself that I had to get good grades so I can get into UP. I was so focused on my future college plans because it was UP or nothing for me. Whenever my friends from college asked me about my high school life, most would say that I had a pretty boring life then. Because unlike my classmates who had those kilig MUs and puppy loves, I never entertained anyone. I had a goal for my future and I had to be focused only on that goal—it was sad that I didn’t just live in that present moment instead.

Nonetheless, while it might have seemed to be a somehow conservative or bland high school life, it allowed me to achieve my goals. I graduated with high honors in high school and I was able to enter UP. So college life came. Life in UP is truly not the easy path to take, but being the responsible student that I am (ahem ahem. Haha) I was able to pass all my subjects and finish my degree in three and a half years. Woohoo! I was very focused on earning my college degree in the shortest possible time then because I wanted to pursue another degree immediately after—I wanted to earn a degree in Architecture. So there, I breezed through my subjects and before I even knew it, my college life was already over. Just like what happened through my high school life, I didn’t truly live in the present moment then. I was so preoccupied by my plans for the future, plans that I have to achieve so I can finally be happy. However, because I was so busy preparing for my future, I knew I missed out on several fun activities or experiences that I can only earn in college. For instance, I wasn’t able to attend even one college party. Boo me. Again, I never entertained any guy who tried to get to know me. I didn’t join any school organization. Yes I was able to earn my degree in such a short time, yet I missed out several opportunities to get to know more people and earn new experiences then because I didn’t live in the “now”.

Looking back at these things and reflecting on what I saw earlier at the pre-school graduation, I realized that I no longer want to take things for granted. I no longer want to have a longer list of things that I somehow regret. I now realized how truly important it is to live in the present moment because this is all that we have. The future and all of our anxieties about what could be do not really exist. If I will just focus on all of those plans that I have to accomplish just so I can be happy, then I would definitely miss out on the chances and gifts that are in front of me right now. Thus, it made me understand how important the present is. I am blessed because I have the time to read, play the piano, play with my dogs, bond with my family, work and go to school. I am blessed because I have my church mates who make me further realize that life is so beautiful because of God’s grace and that focusing on what happened in the past or what will happen in the future is truly a waste of time because all we have is “now”.

Seeing all those kids earlier with their carefree vibes, I knew that was the feeling that I want as well. I know that being happy and living in the present moment is a choice and I am making such choice as a priority from now on. Life is so beautiful; if I will just take everything one small step at a time, I’m sure I can better appreciate all of the beautiful things around me—all of the beautiful chances and experiences I can take at the present time.

While I might have regrets from how I lived my elementary, high school or college days, I know that what I went through were essential to where I am now. I had to go through all those so I can be more mature and so I can better appreciate the life that was given to me.

Thank you, Lord, for giving me life. Thank you for all that I have right now because I know that I am bountifully blessed. And yes, I am going to bring back those happy vibes from my childhood para din forever baby faced. Haha. Cheers to living a positive life and living in the present moment! J